By Jwalant Swaroop
Happiness Coach coach
31 May 2021
When you say to someone “I Love You” you are telling the other that you have a choice not to love. This is the beginning of all politics in life. Hence a statement like “I Love You” with respect to Love is neurotic. How can you choose to love or not to love when you are actually born with love only. Love is your basic nature. Love is the only energy that flows in you to stay happy as a child. As we grow we learn to be political with respect to love. And slowly we learn to hate but go on announcing our love for the other. Husband to wife, wife to husband play this game, friends, governments and political leaders all play this game. So easily they proclaim love for the other but it is all just a lip service, sadly.
Love is not to be claimed. Love is to be expressed, Love is to be experienced, Love is so internal that you and love are not two separate things you are the love. Unless you become the Love you cannot love anyone and you cannot express it either in true sense. That is why in the spirituality it is all about unconditional love.
When you say ” I Love You” you are setting some conditions and outlining your expectations from the other and so when those conditions and expectations are not met you have a choice not to love. We see divorces, quarrels, fights, and agitations in the world due to this. Everbody is having some or the other expectations and obviously it is not humanly possible to fulfill all the conditions and expectations of one another and so it is easy to excercise the choice of not to love one another.
We have this desiring mind which goes on desiring from one another, As long as desire exist from other you cannot be loving. Look at mother nature, trees have desire and they go on emitting oxygen that the world needs, Look at the Sun it does not desire anything from you but it goes on emitting heat that you need to survive. Look at the animals, say dog, it does not desire anything from you and go on expressing its love to you by wagging his tail and playing with you.
Love is a powerful emotion that all living and non living creatures understand Love. Even a tree understands you love. If you plant a tree in your backyard and lovingly look after it, you will be amazed to see its growth compared to other which is not so looked after. Same goes with animals, most ferocious animals understand love and express it too. But in humans Lovers Love only While they are not yet in a fixed relationship. The moment relationship is formalised the game of expectations begin, after that everything exist except the love. As the relationship settles, love disappears. once the relationship is fixed, instead of love, something else takes place: possessiveness.
One comes across this mishap again and again. Every love story ends in a sob story, or even worse, a suicide story. More often love is sacrificed at the altar of marriage for the sake of security, social recognition.They still go on calling it love, but it is hate, not love. It is adjustment, not love. For this very reason we see unfulfilled souls poisoning the most pious relationships. Relationships between a mother and son, father and daughter, and Guru and disciple.
Instead of saying “I love you” say, “I possess you.” It will be more realistic and lovers will not be disillusioned by the relationship. There is a great misunderstanding about love. Basically people are afraid of their loneliness, and because they cannot be alone they cling to the other person like a lifeline. This very clinging makes the other wriggle out of the bondage. This sentence “I cannot live without you,” is a danger signal. It is against the essential nature of love.
Love is a flower that blossoms in freedom. It needs its own space, its own sky, its own sunlight and soil.
If lovers don’t give that kind of freedom to each other the flower is bound to die. It’s unfortunate that there is a great thirst for love but there is no education on the art of loving. Meditation should be taught to all lovers so as to understand the complexity of love.
People have everything that wealth can give them, they are talented but have no training of handling their emotions. All the dark emotions are lurking inside like snakes and scorpios. As a result, when they fall in love they also fall in hate, they fall in jealousy, domination. They try to possess the lover because they don’t possess themselves. After the rosy romance wears off the reality looms up and they start blaming each other for the ugliness of their relationship.
Another misunderstanding about love is that it should be everlasting. On the contrary love is very fragile, it’s like a breeze, it drifts at will.
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